was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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