Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
