so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
