just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
