somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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