hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
