To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
