thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
