Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We need to rekindle our bromance
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
