So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
