just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
