watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
