Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
