I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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