Is it normal to miss your booty call?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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