The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just puked most of my soul out..
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