i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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