Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
