he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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