About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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