i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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