i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you had me at cake vodka
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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