Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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