Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
