I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
