She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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