On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize