One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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