she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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