Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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