We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
