dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
