Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
