is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
