Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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