You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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