The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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