I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He? As in you personified your dick?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
