Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
