my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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