Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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