before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
