i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
