I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
