You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
