Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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