And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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