I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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