GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We need to rekindle our bromance
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
All the doctor said was why
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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