road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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