Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
