Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
