idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
