you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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