I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
