after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
