Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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